Okay, so you know
what is bizarre? Relationships. I mean... ever since we were little girls we knew
what attracted us... Possibly, a little boy with a really nice smile and a cute
giggle. Or, maybe a kid with a fanatical obsession for toys, hot right? Furthermore, we
continue to grow into the young women we are today. Eventually, we begin to get annoyed with these "boys". First, we blame our resentment towards them as
“cooties”... Remember all those times they chose their little buddies before they would
play with you... Then, we get our girls together and become huge clans, who have
sleepovers together on the weekends. During the sleepovers we talk about these
boys. We confide our deepest secrets to these girls. You know, the secrets about that one kid who you first laid eyes on. But basically, you tell them about the time they caught your eye, to the time you absolutely resented them. Other girls listening begin to get jealous because they may have
felt the same way about that certain someone. THEN... that is where the pillow fights
come in... Ok, I'm just kidding. Seriously, though, we ALL know girls become crazy, possessive, and
emotional.
So of course, once we get to high school we think of natural tactics
that might get the boy that every girl likes, to like us. The first thing that
comes in mind is to “look hot”, “dress cute” and “act like you don’t care”.
Sometimes impressing someone works and most of the time, it does not. If the tactics
fail, you turn to other options. You begin to feel that resentment again from
the boy who neglected you in kindergarten! Then you wonder, what would it be
like to find someone who truly cares about you and wants to spend each moment
together? A guy who is willing to share his life with you, not like those boys
in kindergarten who hated sharing. Finally... a guy who would never judge you.
Even if you did go out of your way to impress him. Because honestly, that’s all
us girls know…
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Boom! You did it,
you fell in love for the first time. I mean this guy practically swept you off
your feet. He took you out, you made out in the back of his car and you cannot
stop looking at his dreamy face. Things get serious from then on out and you
become head over heels. Come on, how many of us actually believed we would
marry the first guy we fell in love with? ….OK, OK I’m guilty too.
Ha. Well, you probably realized that
ended quickly. Either the man of your dreams cheated on you or you became tired
of him. Maybe over time, you noticed he started to become distant and didn’t
care about the relationship as much as you did. So, we are forced to move on. Ugh, puke the phrase that everyone hates..."It's Time To Move On..." And you know what?? God
forbid we try to go to a family event to get him off our mind, because us girls gave
up family time a long time ago for him. We gave up a lot! …our life, our best
girlfriends, and our families. Sadly, we even may have just simply wasted our time. And by time I mean 2 to 3 years with the guy...
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“The moving on
stage.” Remember what it felt like to vent with our girlfriends? I mean sure we
got into a few arguments here and there but those are the only people we knew
to trust and be close with. Since we hardly have any friends now, I guess we
have to call them up and see how they are… Once we get in touch it’s easy from
then on. We start hanging out, venting, going to the mall to shop our sadness
away… all while balancing two jobs because you have time now. And finally,
after long nights with chocolate ice cream and convincing, you realize the past
is gone and it is time to start brand new.
Now it is summer
time and you really feel yourself letting loose and having fun. You have never
felt so hot before in your life. Your body is bangin’, you have beautiful
tanned skin and you let your hair grow long. You go to massive summer
parties, pool bangers, festivals and outrageous vacations. This feels like the
prime of your life, not a care in the world, just you yourself and YOURSELF!
Surely enough, a bunch of guys start noticing you. They see how beautiful you
have grown, and how mature you are when you talk to them. They know your
independent with two jobs and you are always having a good time. Everything a man wants in a girl right? … money,
beauty, and fun. At this point they will do anything to have you. However, you
are matured enough that you know the game by now, and unluckily for them it is
going to take longer to get in your pants. In fact, you’re going to create this
“hard to get” type attitude. Most guys find this tactic very attractive because
they want what they can’t have. It’s like a greedy thing, probably from all
those materials they wanted as kids…video games, bikes, BLAH BLAH BLAH and etc. They will even go as far as pretending they
like you just to get in your pants. BUT…
before I get carried away ranting…. Say you do meet a guy who is amazing when
you meet him. Imagine someone did come into your life during this time, when
you are feeling at your prime, to have a summer romance. They text you every
day, hangout with you everyday, buy you dinner some nights, and hold long
conversations because they want you to know them. And when it’s really late, you sneak him into
your house so you can cuddle on a sun porch together. On the other hand, he
will surprise you with a text that says, “come outside” and when you look out
your window he is waiting for a goodnight kiss next to a bicycle. As the summer goes on, you build more
memories together. Like getting in trouble together past curfew because you were talking for hours in the car parked across your house. How about all those nicknames and insiders you made with each other. The memories are endless. Well, this
rebellious, spontaneous, adventurous and crazy lifestyle begins to grow on you...
You begin to fall
and fall and fall. However, sadly, you have to remind yourself that he is much
older, and that this “fling” he calls it, is only temporary. You are fighting your feelings
at this point. You do not want to mess things up by telling him how you really
feel so you are literally hiding emotions and expressions. Isn’t that only
possible for actors to do??? … And for the last few nights of summer that are
spent before he leaves for college, you just bite your tongue and hope that
maybe, just maybe, you’ll be together again.
During the school
year you hardly ever talk, he never texts you like he did. You ask yourself…
did he like me? Should I text first? Is he mad because I acted like I wasn’t
“too” head over heels? And your mind is racing. Impulsively, you decide to text
him and reveal your hidden secrets. You tell him what he meant to you, how much
you liked him and how wonderful your summer was together. You did not get the
response you were hoping for, but at least you can say you got it off your
chest.
So, once again,
you feel like you need to move on. This time it is different. During the school
year you start to date here and there, flirt around and just try to feel better
about the situation. Maybe you have a few short-term relationships or flings,
but nothing serious because he is always in the back of your mind.
(Turning Point)
Summer comes
again, guess who texted you... I know... I know! Try not to freak out too much. Wait
what? He wants see me? … And hangout?
Yes, you just
spent another summer with your dream man. This time he even mentioned
relationships. However, towards the end of the summer he became different. He
totally changed. He “forgot” to pick you up for your date, he never waited for
you to get in the door, and he expected you to text him. And maybe some other
unmentionable things as well. What even happened? He used to be so sweet, caring and genuine. I
mean this summer was even the one where we decided to … you know.
Oh… *light bulb
clicks on*
Wait, did he use
you? …
Better yet, do all
that AND have fun. Why let him ruin your summer? He can't take away your
happiness! Go on a date or talk to someone who seemed interested in you before, even if it is one of his close friends. It's not even out of
spite either. Just let yourself go and let someone show you a good time before
you end up changing yourself to. “Do not
let this guy get into your head baby girl, keep strong”, that is what you keep telling yourself.
When you do, you
notice he tries to come around; he tries to hangout and tries so hard to win
back your attention. But you’re not having it this time.
This is where the "game" starts. He gets in your head, you get in his. He hooks up with other
girls. He compliments other girls while you watch. He gives other girls the attention you never got from him...YES, all of this. So alright... you did make out with his best friend maybe, but
like DAMN, this guy never owned or wanted you. SO WHO CARES. Maybe he wouldn’t
be so mad if he would have made you his girlfriend in the first place. I mean,
HELLO, it does take 2 to tango dude.
And that’s that.
All those memories, down the shitter. Hatred, spite and betrayal is all you
know now.
So move on baby
girl. (ha...our favorite phrase)
Realize by now
that you are better off. Do not be that girl who settles for less. I know it
hurts, but you are strong. Every thing is going to be alright...
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So here is what
you do. You go on a personal vacation. No, you don't have to book a hotel or anything. I just mean for months, or maybe a year (take your
time) to try and fix your mind. You need get your thoughts, emotions and feelings in order.
*summers over, senior year beginning*
And as you are
beginning to finally enjoy your senior year of high school, you decide to go
all out and support the football team at an away game. You are with your
friends, your mind is clear and you’re probably eating a hot dog. You see some
friends you used to work with when you had those two jobs, and you go to visit
them. They even introduce you to their friends; one of them may be a mysterious guy, who happened to be quite popular in their school. No big deal though. Yeah sure, you spent months trying to become
unbroken, you discovered your bubbliness and happiness again. However, those
experiences will always be with you. Therefore, when you meet new guys, you do
have your guard up. You figure, hey this kid is really handsome, but he
hardly said a word! You think, either he is shy or he really just hates people. Eh, who
knows? Maybe he thought your crazy, bubbly, personality was weird. He hardly said a word. I mean he is really mysterious himself, what if he's just like me when he's not shy?
So months later this
guy might even try to get your number. Okay, lets pretend he does. Say you do
give him your number back. Pretend you guys start texting. Nothing serious,
just cute. But… What are you going to respond when he says “lets hangout.”
You're so scared at this point. You do not want to be hurt again, but you do
want to feel special again. This is a huge predicament in your life.
But you know what,
spontaneity attracted you once before, why not give this guy a chance? What is
it going to hurt.
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Its been a year. That guy you met? He is the love of your life. He walked you to the
door every time he dropped you off, he cried when he told you he loved and
cared for you. He made things fun and exciting by taking you to fancy restaurants
where you could wear a cute dress (every girls dream). He lost his shyness, showed
comfort and expressed his personality to you. He completely opened up and
showed you why its important to never settle for less. And you couldn’t be
happier…
Congrats baby girl, your dreams have finally come true for you.
Congrats baby girl, your dreams have finally come true for you.
But how? How did
this happen? I never thought… I never expected… How?
